Comedy – writesimon

Climbing in the Rain

The Case for All-Weather Climbing 1735 words/15 minutes “In the Golden Age of climbing, before the ascendency of the rock jock, no climber worth his salt would allow a little rain to deprive him of a days outing. A pint, or six, at the end of a day on the rock is to be encouraged.Continue reading “Climbing in the Rain”

Slapstick (a folk history)

It was the annual Festival of the Glorious Ewe, the patron saint of Mordek, and the capital was thronged with visitors. Kopek, chief spy of the Pimpleknuckle Confederation, surreptitiously mingled with the crowd disguised as a peasant on a jaunt to town, though his monocle and well waxed handlebar moustaches jarred slightly with his shepherds smock and slouch hat.

The International Academy of Hosiery Studies (Hackney)

There will be an exhaustive series of talks and papers on numerous aspects of hosiery, and specifically its unexplained absence. All our work will explore this profoundly topical subject from an historical, cultural, philosophical, post-modernist, Marxist, and literary perspective.
The loss of a sock is both a profound moment, and a mundane interlude. For some it may even be a transcendental experience.

Slapstick

First Knock Door

When Victor found I had an Ewondo girlfriend from the Centre Province, he asked me if I was a serious man.

“If you are a serious man, you need to know how to dote your love,” he said. “I will tell you how to go see her father.”

The Ewondo live in the French speaking Centre province, so I asked, “How do you know about the Ewondo?”

“I had a love from there,” he told me. “You must be ready for what will happen. It is called the First Knock Door. When you go to see the father to ask for his daughter, you will say to the father, ‘You have a nice flower in the family that I love’.”